Around the World in Eighty Gaffes

So Mitt Romney is back in America having finished a world tour, designed to show off his foreign relations qualifications as well as show he has what it takes to be a world leader. Unfortunately we’ve only discovered two things from this little world jaunt of his.

One: He’s as big an idiot as we all thought he was.

Two: He needs to fire his advance team and speech writers post haste.

He did quite well in Poland – it was his Press Secretary, not him who got into hot water that time - But, for those of you who haven’t been keeping up with his numerous mistakes, let’s go over them.

The UK

Actually we should be grateful to Mitt. He managed to do what countless advertising campaigns, news reports and Olympic torch relay videos had failed to do. Unite the whole country behind the Olympics, and get us all hoping it will be a complete success.

You see in an interview with an American news programme  on his first day here, Mr Romney – who lest we forgot single handedly saved the Salt Lake City Olympics – said that some of the mistakes in the recent run up to the games, such as for example the G4S scandal were “unsettling” and that he wasn’t sure if were ready. Well excuse me. When have preparations for an Olympics ever gone off without a hitch? That’s why you were put in charge of Salt Lake City in the first place, remember?

Of course after a conversation with Mr Cameron, he backtracked immediately – confirming his reputation as a flip flopper – and said that he was sure that everything would go fine. So, no harm, no foul. Till of course someone tracked down a book he had written where the UK was described as

“A small country, with tiny houses and tiny roads, where the trees are the wrong size, that doesn’t make much that the rest of the world wants.”

You mean apart from the Internet?  What a way to insult one of your closest allies.

I really hope, when he saw the celebration of the NHS at the Opening Ceremony, he choked on his dinner.

Israel.

Here he managed to engage in both positive and negative discrimination and proved that he really doesn’t do his research before he speaks.

Firstly he congratulated Israel on having a much higher GDP than Palestine – and got the figures wrong – claiming that it was Israeli culture that enabled them to make such strides. What he failed to note, is that Palestine, which is hemmed in on all sides by Israeli controlled territory, and is not recognised by minor groups like the UN, has much fewer opportunities to engage in economic growth. Not to mention that suggesting that it is Israeli culture that is helping them make money is running dangerously close towards the whole “Jews and Money” stereotype.

Secondly, he congratulated Israel on having an excellent health care system, upon which they spend eight percent of their GDP. What he didn’t mention – or possible didn’t know – is that while Israelis are expected to buy health insurance, the Israeli system uses non-profit plans, which are regulated by the Government and funded through high taxes. Hospitals are also mostly government owned and controlled.

You know what that is?  Socialised healthcare. That’s right. Mitt praised Israel for its socialised healthcare plan, the one thing his own party hates more than anything else in the world.

Seriously, he needs to fire his advance team. Or do some research on Wikipedia before he speaks.

As mentioned above, this trip was supposed to make Romney look Statesmen- like and Presidential.  All it’s done is make him look like a stereotypical ignorant American tourist and turn him into one worldwide joke.